Race Day is only 3 days away - so EXCITED! After the last few weeks I've had, I am just happy to be healthy enough to participate - however slow I may go! I guess I have some catching up to do ...
My last post was right before our 10-mile group run. I was excited to try, but worried because I had injured my knee the week before. Well, I did try, but ended up not being able to run that day. I knew right when I started out that my knee hadn't healed enough. I only went about 1/4 mile and I turned around. I didn't want to injure it any further and knew that I needed to go have it checked out. Up until that point, I thought just rest, ice and Advil would cure it. Needless to say, I was completely devastated.
I went into a tailspin of worry, stress, and maybe even a little depression. I got so caught up in trying to navigate the Kaiser maze of trying to get into the doctor that I needed to see, worrying about the training that I was missing, and worrying that I might not be able to participate at all. It was consuming me - almost to a manic level. It was all I could think about. After a week and a half of getting no where with Kaiser except a phone call with my general doctor and going to a "knee clinic" in the physical therapy department, I decided to bite the money bullet and go outside of Kaiser. I made an appointment at a sports therapy clinic (Sports Medicine Institute in Palo Alto) that had come to one of our regional runs and conducted an injury-prevention clinic. The director seemed really knowledgeable, was a former competitive distance runner and was also affiliated with Team in Training. My running coaches all recommended them as well. When I finally got in, I hadn't run in 2 1/2 weeks! My knee was starting to feel better at that point, but my physical therapist, Mark, was able to work on my knee and pinpoint the right place and really work out the last of the pain. We came up with a plan to start back slowly that week and try to build up my mileage as best as I could.
So, my first time back to running was going to be 2 days after I saw Mark. Was really excited, hopeful that I'd be able to make up some ground on my training. I packed my gym bag that morning so I could go to the team track workout after work. Woke up that morning with a knot in the middle of my back, but not a big deal. I wake up that way a lot - nothing out of the ordinary. Well, by lunch time I was in so much pain I could barely walk. I couldn't catch my breath and I had pain all around my rib cage and sharp pains in my stomach. Nice! I was icing my back, popping Advil like crazy, and no relief. I went home from work early and tried to lay down, ice some more, tried the heating pad. Still nothing. By this time, I was crying. I seriously had not had pain like this since I had my kids. I think that I even started to have a panic attack. What started out as a knot in my back was now something completely different and I had no idea what was going on. My husband was working in the City and I couldn't reach him, so I called my friend, Denise. She came and brought me into the emergency room and waited with me until I got in (thank you Denise!!). The ER doctor was concerned it was something with my kidneys or gallbladder, so they ran every test under the sun. After 8 hours, I finally went home with a bottle of Vicodin and no answers. All the tests they ran in the ER came back fine, so they scheduled me for an ultrasound the next morning. Of course, my doctor was not in that day, so I had to wait for the results until Monday. So I missed another regional run (11 miles) that weekend and I was almost convinced that I wouldn't be able to participate in the event at all. My tailspin of worry, stress and depression continued.
My doctor called Monday morning with the results - all clear. But he wanted to see me that day. So we went in and he did his exam (along with answering a personal call on his cell phone!) and said he thought the problem was muscular. He sent me home with a prescription for a muscle relaxer and a hand out for some back stretches and exercises. Thanks.
Fortunately, I had an appointment the next day with my physical therapist. I had already scheduled it to re-check my knee. I walked in the that morning in complete pain and practically begged him to check my back instead of my knee (which was feeling great by this time). He worked HARD on my back. But he asked a lot of questions and again, was able to pinpoint the area that needed to be worked on. After an hour, I was able to stand up and BREATHE! It was so amazing how much better I already felt! Yes, it was still sore and tender, but whatever he did I could actually breathe better. I don't think I had really been able to take a deep breath since Thursday, so it felt great! He told me he thought I had somehow slipped a vertabrae out of place, which was causing all of that pain. I have no idea how that happened, maybe slept wrong the night before?
I finally feel healthy again! I have been jogging again for the last week. Taking it really slow, but at least I'm moving again!
What I've found surprising is when I look back over these last few weeks how emotional I have been about this race. I was completely stressed out about not being able to do it at all and I didn't realize how much I had let it affect me! I went to that first track work out after my back injury, really thinking that there was going to be a way that I could make up some of the training I missed. I would come up with a plan to add more miles every day, it would all work out. But I was still stressing about how it would all work out! But my coach finally said something like "look, you're never going to make up that lost time in a week and half. Just concentrate on finishing the race - no matter how you get it done". That really hit home with me. It reminded me of what my goal has been all along - just to do this! I started out not caring about how much I was able to run, how much I was going to have to walk or what my finish time would be - I just wanted to finish. But somewhere along the way I got away from that. Building up your endurance each week, running farther than I ever have before - it was exciting! I was really proud of myself and amazed at what I had been able to accomplish. Then when I thought it was all slipping away, it really hit me hard. But that comment from my coach brought me back to my reality. Once I let all of that craziness go, I have been able to relax and enjoy the thought of the race again. I don't care how long it takes me to finish this race, but I WILL FINISH. That is all that matters. So I'll walk more than I had originally planned, but who cares? I WILL FINISH!! I'm going to take it all in and enjoy every minute!
I will post again when I get home on Sunday (after my ice bath!). Wish me luck!
xo,
Jen
