Why THIS, Why NOW??

I keep getting asked the question - why are you doing THIS and why NOW (referring to my age, I suppose)??  I guess there are many answers to those questions.  The first and most obvious reason is what I said on my profile - in honor of my mother, Norma Stokes, who lost her battle with leukemia 25 years ago.  But as I think more about it, it's more than that.  I think part of me is trying to figure out who "Jennifer" really is - finally at the age of 44!  What am I capable of?  What do I want to be when I grow up? :-)  (Better late than never, I guess!)  When I realize it has been 25 years since I lost my mom, it's kind of scary.  That time has really flown by.  I've been so busy for the last 22 years trying to figure out how to be a wife and mom, I've kind of forgotten about me.  A common theme among women, I know.  So, I was having a discussion with my husband a few weeks ago about our oldest son, Corey.  He's 22 and kind of "floundering" in life right now.  Trying to figure out what he wants to do, if he wants to finish college, just kind of "lost".  We've been frustrated watching him go through this, and my husband made the comment that Corey seems to start things, but never finish them.  He then said something to the effect of:  "He's kind of like you in that way.  Not in a bad way, but you kind of do the same thing."  Of course my first reaction was to be hurt and kind of pissed, but when I thought about it, I realized he was right.  I've done that with a lot of things in my life - I think all having to do with trying to figure out who "Jennifer" really is.  One of these "things" that I've thought about, started to look into, and then never followed through on was Team in Training.  I have talked about it for probably the last 10 years, signed up to go to probably 5 or 6 informational meetings over those 10 years, but that's as far as I ever got.  There was always some excuse as to why I didn't go.  So, after that conversation, I decided to really try and follow through on some of those things and that this was going to be my year of "no excuses"!  I got an email about the upcoming Team in Training season and there was an informational meeting back in June.  So I went.  And then at that meeting, I decided not to go away and think about it - I signed up that night.  So here we are today!

This is my second week of official training with the "team".  It's not as bad as I thought it would be - I'm averaging a 12 minute mile and I've been able to actually run for over a mile without walking!  AMAZING!  The farthest I've ran/walked so far is 3.25 miles.I'm starting to get nervous though - I'll be adding a mile every week until race day in October.  Considering I haven't really done any "running" (other than after my kids as they were growing up) in 17 years, I guess I have cause to be nervous!  I just keep telling myself that I can do this, I'm not doing it to win, and no matter how long it takes me to cross the finish line - I WILL FINISH!

The thing that has really amazed me and kept me motivated are the overwhelming responses that I've received from people that have read my initial donation email.  I am truly blessed with amazing friends and family.  I'm continually learning of the personal connections that people have to this cause and these devastating diseases.  Their stories truly help keep me motivated and reaffirm my decision to take on this challenge.  What I am trying to do is nothing compared to the struggles and challenges of those faced with fighting cancer.  I am lucky to be healthy enough to train for this race and honored to do it for those that can't!